Without you
by Electric Raijin
Summary: Ludwig is at the end of his life. Thinking of the past of his brother, he clings to the hope he will return, but he never does. Germany takes hold of the medication he was given and downs in without thinking. What will happen? PrussiaxGermany LEMONS


Darkness surrounded the house, Ludwig, looking into the darkness through a small, smudged window looking at the old tree that he had remembered from his childhood. Shifting slightly he kept his eyes on the tree, flashes of times he had with Gilbert flashed in his head. He shock his head, trying to forget the memories that plagued his head. Feeling a headache come on he grabbed a glass of water that was inches away and downed it, while he fumbled around for the painkillers. Popping them into his mouth he looked down at the medication. Pain came across his face. He then threw the packet away and threw the glass, watching it shatter onto the floor below. Tears began to find their way from his eyes, running down his cheek, Ludwig crouched down, grabbing onto his legs as he rocked back and forth, crying silently to himself. He had nothing left, nothing but the memories, the house, the pain and the lithium packets he dared not touch. If he did. He was scared he could not stop himself.

*Flashback*  
Ludwig ran outside laughing, he had been playing inside but once he heard the wonderful voice he loved he found himself running to the direction it came from. Giggling he flung himself into his older brothers arms, laughing as he called out to him.

"Bruder!!", Gilbert chuckled as he held him tight, hugging his little brother while he smiled.  
"Ludwig!, Did you miss ya big bruder!?" he asked as he lifted him up, spinning him around while he heard Ludwig laughter, it made him happy inside to hear his adorable brother's happy voice.

Ludwig nodded as he clung to his brother, not wanting to let go. He was scared that if he did he would be taken away from him. Instead he smiled and kissed his older brother on the cheek, lucky to be held in his arms once again.  
*Flashback ended*

Ludwig rose, feeling weak, he had no eaten for days, or even weeks. He did not wish to eat food, nor did he wish to read or even work out. His life was at a stand still. He could not even smile when he saw Italia, he could not even talk about anything. He drunk alot, sat in the same chair, looked at old pictures and looked at the same tree everyday. Antonio, Romano, Francis and even Austria came over to see him but he did not even talk, nothing came out of his mouth, he sat there, unable to talk, unable to move, unable to carry on. At times like this he wished he could turn to someone for help but nothing could be done. He just didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted to run and hide. He..wanted to die.

*Flashback*  
Ludwig sat down on his chair, looking outside to see the tree he and Gilbert both used to play on, his heart burned. He missed him, his amazing and yet annoying brother. He rose up and began to do his chores, unsure of what had to be done today. He looked outside and witnessed the wall. He cringed. The wall. He hated it, it kept him from seeing his brother, from seeing the rest of his beautiful country.

He turned away, not wanting to look at it. He stalked back inside, not wanting to look. It stood tall, overbearing, it made Ludwig depressed everyday. He just wanted to be able to see him again, even for a split second. He then suddenly heard his voice calling his name. Ludwig sighed as he shook his head. His mind was playing tricks on him. He then heard it again. He suddenly turned to see the silver haired boy standing outside his door, smiling with that amazing smile of his. Ludwig couldn't hold back the tears as he lunged at his brothers arms. Holding him tight, crying into his brothers chest. Gilbert, aka Prussia sniffed as he began to cry also, holding his brother close. Ludwig looked up into his eyes as Gilbert held his chin up, looking deep into them. Ludwig blinked slightly as Gilbert lent down and planted a kiss softly on his lips.

Ludwig blinked for a moment before he threw his arms around his brothers neck, deepening the kiss. His heart was pounding, he had his brother, his lovely Gilbert with him, this was all he wanted. Gilbert then suddenly pulled away which made Ludwig whine slightly, but Gilbert chuckled and placed a finger against his brothers lips.

"Bruder, ich liebe dich. Bitte seien Sie mir, f r immer.." he then pulled Ludwig into another kiss, holding him close while his tongue entered his younger brothers mouth. Germany moaned slightly as he held on tight. Nothing would take his brother from him. Nothing!  
*flashback ended*

His eyes kept coming upon the guns he had, eying them intensely. His mind was stuck on the past, the lovely past he wished he could repeat. His eyes trailed off for a split second before they landed on there again. Growing angry he swung violently and shoved the gun off the table, watching it fall to the floor. He didn't care if it had gone off, there was nothing left for him in this pitiful world. His heart was smashed to bits, his head was pounding, and the wounds he has deep within himself were aching, He wanted to destroy them all. He wanted to die and never be revived. He longed to be dead. For his life was meaningless.

*flashback*  
His body was hot, he panted slightly as he felt his brother lay on top of him. Smiling down on him Gilbert kissed his brother again, deepening it and holding his brothers arms back. Ludwig moaned against his mouth as he panted, lust filled his eyes. Gilbert rubbed his body against his, causing friction which made Ludwig moan louder. This sound made Gilbert shiver. He longed to hear his brothers lovely voice. Ludwig wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck, and pulled him down, kissing him viciously while he felt Gilbert's hands run over Ludwig's nipples.

"Bruder!,....mm..more..", he chocked out. Gilbert chuckled as he lent down, licking the nipple slightly as he used his now free hands to rub Ludwig's crotch. He found pleasure in seeing his brother in such a state. It made his member stand up tall inside his pants. Feeling uncomfortable he undid his pants to set it free. Ludwig whined, he could feel his also grow and with the3 tight pants on it made it hard to keep quiet. Moaning every time Gilbert's tongue ran over his nipple, Ludwig wriggled, his pants began to hurt him. Of course Gilbert had noticed and soon had a cure for that. He undid the zip, pulling his brothers pants off with him as he smirked at the almost naked Ludwig. Blushing he looked away, trying to hide his face, but Gilbert had other ideas. He lent down and began to stroke the erection as he lent up, kissing at his brothers neck. Moaning loudly, Ludwig reached down and grabbed onto Gilbert's, rubbing it roughly as he panted, moaning out his brothers name.

"Gill..bert...,", Hearing his name made his hand move faster as he moaned himself, feeling his brothers tight grip on his penis, it made him almost cum. Shivering he lent down and bit Ludwig's shoulder. Even if his brother was taller then he was, he still had the upper hand when it came to sex. He was more open about it then his brother who read porn but had possibly only had sex with him., It made Gilbert happy, and cocky. He then suddenly felt Ludwig release as he also came as well. Panting he winked at his brother for a moment.

"So wanna do it bruder?" he asked shortly.  
Ludwig chocked on his own breathe as he sat up flustered, he hated how frank he was, it made him extremely embarrassed.  
"Bruder!, H r auf! Ich hasse es, wenn du mich verlegen zu machen!" he yelled, hiding his blushing face with his arms. Gilbert chuckled as he pulled his brother close, whispering into his ear softly. "Bruder, ich werde mich sanft, und schrauben Sie sie leise. Ich meine .... Ich will Sex mit dir haben leise. Mein Geliebter, mein Bruder", he then placed a kiss upon his brother's growing erection. Ludwig blushed heavily as he nodded softly, wishing his brother would take him then and there.

Gilbert smiled as he then brought his fingers up to his mouth and began to lick them slowly, covering them with saliva. Ludwig arched up as he saw this, it turned him on to no end to see his brother licking his fingers like that. He wanted to lick them for him, siting up quickly he grabbed hold of Gilbert's wrist and pulled his arm so his hand and fingers were in front of him. Smirking he took them in his mouth and began to suck on him, licking the tips like a cat. This turned Gilbert on even more. His brother was teasing him, but Gilbert had a good plan.

With no warning he lent down and took Ludwig's erection inside his mouth and began to suck on it, licking the tip constantly. Ludwig moaned, the fingers also began to rub his tongue as he sucked on them harder, wanting to keep the sounds he had inside himself. Gilbert suddenly took the fingers away in one swoop, smirking he then sucked harder, licking up and down the shaft. Ludwig moaned loudly, unable to be quiet, he tried to grip onto the bed as he started to thrust up, almost about to come.

Gilbert sucked a bit more as he used his wet fingers to slowly rub around the entrance. Softly touching the opening with his index finger, Ludwig suddenly thruster up into Gilbert's mouth as he came, it flowed out and went down Gilbert's throat, he swallowed it all, not caring. It tasted like Heaven to him, his brother was so beautiful, he tasted magnificent, He loved him so much it hurt him, but he never reviled how much, it was too shameful. But something deep inside him told him that he already knew. Ludwig panted as he watched his brother swallow,he panicked for a moment as he blushed.

"Bruder, ich bedaure, konnte ich nicht halten ihn in", Gilbert chuckled as he lent forward and gave Germany a loving kiss on his lips.  
"Sei nicht albern genoss ich es. Der Geschmack Sie ist erstaunlich", Ludwig blushed even more as he looked away, he hated being made fun of, he really did love his brother but he always teased him and it made him sulk.  
"Nein Bruder, hasse i dass Sie mich lustig .. machen" Ludwig pouted as Gilbert kissed him once more, before he slowly licked down Ludiwg's body.  
"Bruder, ich liebe dich, deine so albern.", Ludwig pouted again as he muttered quietly.  
"idiot ... Ich bin nicht .."  
"Ja du bist. Aber Ich liebe dich da Weise.", Gilbert spoke as he moved his head, pushing German's legs open slightly. Smirking he the leant down and began to lick the entrance softly poking his tounge inside slightly as he licked it thoroughly.

Ludwig grunted as he let out a loud moan, he had never felt this pleasure before and he wanted more, Gilbert smiled at the reaction he got and decided to do more. Pushing his tongue in deeper he used his finger to tough his brothers balls. Feeling them, they were nice and soft. Ludwig bit his hand to keep quiet again, the pleasure was so good but without thinking he let go of his and and let out a long moan which finished with words.

"Hurry, I want more..." Gilbert answered his cries, he slowly slid to fingers into his brothers hole which made him clench, it was such a great feeling. He could not wait to get his penis in there.

Using a scissor actions he made the whole bigger, making room for one more finger. Ludwig bit his hand once again but this time he drew blood, sucking on it softly he made Gilbert shiver with pleasure. After a while Gilbert did a surprise attack, he suddenly lunged in and slid right in. Ludwig's eyes widened as he let out a load groan, he could feel his brother deep inside of him. Gilbert began to pace himself as he did nice long and strong thrusts. Ludwig held on to the bed as he panted and moaned out his brother's name over and over again, it was the best feeling ever. Gilbert pushed deep inside as they both cried out loud, their names falling off their tongues as they moaned.

Ludwig felt so great, nice and tight as always. Finally pushing deeper, Ludwig pulled Gilbert closer as he crushed his mouth against his, biting the lip as he ravished his mouth with his tongue. Gilbert allowed this, he had no energy to stop him, he loved being dominated by Ludwig. Thinking about it made him want to come but when he heard his brother grunt and speak the words "Faster...haaa...arder"  
He couldn't hold back, he began to pulverize him, hard and quickly as Ludwig rapped his legs around his waist, he fucked him harder and harder until both of them came, Sperm flew onto Gilbert's chest while the rest of it made it's home inside Ludwig.

Both of them then collapsed. Moaning loudly as they both snuggled close, kissing each other and whispering sweet nothings to each other until they both fell asleep. *flash back ended*

Ludwig thought back at that one night he had with his brother, but all he could feel was pain, pain that rushed through his heart. He had been lost in this world for a time and even these memories were not able to shed happiness on him. All he could do was sink into the near by chair. His eyes looked around the room again, trying to eye more things to keep his mind of what he was thinking. Looking from the clock to the floor was all he could do, he could not keep his eyes in one place for long. He tried to think of things that he could do to keep his mind at bay but all he could think of was the dreadful day, that one day where everything changed. The day where he lost everything.

*Flashback*  
"Was meinst du du gehen!?", yelled Ludwig as he stood up quickly from the table, anger was placed on his face. His brother, leaving? Why, and what for!? He couldn't think straight, he didn't want to think, he wanted to grab hold of his brother and hold onto him tightly but all he could do was stand there and watch his brother shift uncomfortably.

"Ich habe bestellt worden. Ich kann nicht nein sagen.", he spoke quietly as he took the coffee cup he had drunk from earlier and finished the rest of it off, not wanting to look into Ludwigs eyes, he looked hurt and angry but Gilbert could do nothing, there was nothing he could do to change it, what had to be done, had to be done. Ludwig growled as he threw the news paper he was reading off the table.

"Nein! Es ist nicht fair, ich habe Sie zur ck ich will dich nicht verlieren! Warum willst du mich jetzt verlassen .. nicht du liebst mich!?", Ludwig did not think about what he just said, what he said was almost childish but he didn't care, he was hurt and there was no way he was going to let his brother leave him again.

Gilbert spat as he lost his temper, he suddenly yelled at his brother, angry by the words his brother had used. OF COURSE HE LOVED HIM!  
"Shut Up! Wie kannst du sagen das!, Ich wei nicht verlassen wollen, muss ich OKAY! Glaubst du, ich will to VERLASSEN!? Verdammt, ich liebe dich zu sehr To Leave .. Aber ich muss! Machen Sie nicht diesen ANY schlimmer als es schon is!",

Ludwig slummed down, not looking at his brother, he felt tears sting his eyes as he stood up and walked out of the room, not even wanting to look at his brother. Gilbert sank down to the ground as he clenched his fist and smacked the floor a few times. Not wanting to look up in case Ludwig came back in to see him crying.

Ludwig dropped down on the bed and did not say a thing, he felt worse as it was, making a scene and carrying on like he did. He felt terrible. He then came to a conclusion, He thought about saying sorry to him and then kissing him senselessly, even if he had to go, at lest Ludwig could say goodbye properly and make him something to eat before he went on his endeavor.

He quickly made it out of the room and walked into the kitchen, but there was no Gilbert, he sunk slightly but thought he might of gone for a walk to call off so he went to make something to eat for him so when he got back he would have food. Looking at the kitchen bench he stopped for a moment when he saw a letter, quickly picking it up he realized it was in his brothers hand writing. His heart sunk deeper.

_Bruder,_  
_Es tut mir leid, aber ich habe zu diesem .. zu tun, habe ich auf das Schlachtfeld gerufen worden und ich muss jetzt gehen .. Sie hassen mich nicht, ich muss gehen, aber ich verspreche Ihnen, ich werde darauf zur ckkommen. Und wenn ich es tue, werde ich nehme deine Hand und ich werde immer bei dir wohnen, in diesem Haus. Bitte an mich glauben Bruder. Ich brauche dich um. Ich habe nie gesagt, diese .. aber ich kann ehrlich gesagt nicht aufh ren, an dich zu denken. Ich liebe dich mit meinem ganzen Wesen, und ich werde nie, nie aufh ren._

_Dein Herz wird immer bei mir sein, wie ich immer bei dir sein wird._

_Liebe deinen Bruder erstaunlich._  
_Gilbert / Prussia._

Ludwig dropped the paper, and before he knew it he was running outside, calling to his brother in unison. He felt like he had once lost him again. He did not want to stop running, he wanted his brother in his arms again. "BRUDER!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!", he screamed louder, "BRUDER!! COME BACK, DON'T LEAVE ME HERE, PLEASE, BRUDER!!" He began to cry as he fell to the ground, unable to move. His heart was broken and his lover left him again.

Gilbert never returned from the battlefield.  
*flash back over*

His heart grew heavy, it had been 4 months since that incident and he got a letter in the mail saying that his lovely brother, had died at war. He could not breathe when he first saw it, He yelled to all the heavens, screaming at them, asking them why they took him and not me, It was not easy for him to live on. He lost his only lover to the cold battle grounds. Ludwig looked at the gun again, sighing heavily he picked it up as he began to hum, looking at the gun intensely. He grabbed the nearest packet of the tablets he was given. Lithium, was what it read. He had been trying to not look at these for a while as they were his only way out. He then dropped the gun and popped the pills. One by one they came out into his hand. He looked at them for a long time before he finally shoved them all into his mouth, grabbing a nearby cup which had beer in it, he downed them all. His life was going to end, and all he could think about was joining his brother soon.


End file.
